It's the Full Moon tonight and Christmas Eve tomorrow

It is Christmas eve tomorrow and I am feeling nothing like I want it to be a celebration of any kind.

I have managed to have some time on the pc while my son is out with my grandson. My daughter is sitting on the sofa watching one of her favourite films, A Simple Wish. Its such a joy filled story with lots of magic and such, to give you the warm feeling of how good people can be.

I am happy I have had time with my grandson. He was such a good baby he slept till 4.00am then woke up in such a good mood then fell back to sleep.

Last night's sky was truly clear with wonderfully glittering stars and the moon in all its glory shining over the whole of the isle. I love the full moon, it brings closure to some aspects in our lives but also gives us chance to renew our soul, our journey in what we are doing what we wish to let go of and what we feel we no longer require in our lives.

There has been so many full moons I have released so many bad and non -essential items, issues, memories unwanted that now its time for those small niggly issues to be let go of.

I have been storing up so much in the way of my personal life, I need to release it in order for my soulful well being to become at peace again. The fact that I am writing and have to the knowledge that I am going to be okay and becoming positive all be it a little bit positive I am still going to be OKAY.

So today will be the beginning and the end of my quandry, I will sit and write a huge amount into my journal and then release to the one person I know will give me credence for my feelings, my anger, my broken spirit, and that is myself.

Knowing that some of my anguish has been normal and not to say its felt like a truly alien part of the person I am.

My broken spirit, become so as I allowed another to steal my power and my energy through the words conveyed to me from another, of how this person gave me their hatred and awful words of insecurity.

I took back my power by forbidding those words to be uttered any longer in my personal space, I refused to have any evil or bad words about me conveyed in my company.

In some way this has calmed my upset and yet I am still very low.

I do feel however that I am getting back up I have climbed a few stairs on the ladder to the top of the 'me'.

I have also had a lesson dealt me that we trusting the word of an authoritarian is not always a good thing, as this can be used and quashed. I will respond in the dignity I know as my right to reply. I will not be bullied into taking on someone's elses beliefs of those around them.

I am also very thankful for those I love close to me and those who have been amazingly supportive to me. I am overwhelmed with the love and encouragement from everybody.

So I will wind up this post to say I am okay. I will be okay.

Love and light

Denise

Dees Inspirations (C)

Deepest Feelings....

I have been deliberating on what I need to write down and share with you all about my past few weeks and how I have come to this day.

I have been reading my monthly subscription of psychologies and there in the pages reading was my answer.

So here goes, I am at an age in my life where I could be on my own in my little house, both my children are grown and fully independent financially, and now unfortunately I have my son back at home.

I have a spiritual lesson on this and it has shown me that although last year we were far from being close emotionally the past three weeks has more than made up for those weeks last year we lost as a family.

Even though the situation is far from a good one as to why he is back with me, I just feel I have to turn this heartbreaking situation round to some thing good.
I have to look for the ‘good in the bad’ scenario.

So here is the good in the bad, I have become close with my son again and feel I have regained a respect and admiration for my son, that goes beyond all the hurt and pain experienced last year by all.

I also see how wonderful my two children have become as adults supporting my emotional state when things have been said out of turn, and how they show amazing love for me, which lifts my spirit higher.
It makes me proud to see how the situation of one person in need brings a family to their true colours, and how the fate of one beautiful soul is in the hearts of those who love unconditionally.

I have also come to terms with being at home, of being the person who has realised had a been at work full time committed to a company of office politics and petty one up man ship, I would certainly not be in any fit state to support my family at this time.

After reading one article in my subscription I have to say it spurred me on to write a more humanistic and spiritually aware piece that I know will give me some release.

Doing the right thing by one is not doing the right thing to benefit all, so I am standing by my family and letting those who need to make the decisions for themselves.

I am going to be a guide only offering some knowledge of experience along the way, sometimes angry words which maybe jolt my family into seeing I am no longer going to tolerate situations that do not bring true love and light to my spirit or to my family’s well being for the future.

I know normally my heart is on my sleeve but where this matter has arisen my heart is very guarded and my soul is very raw.

I hope to say a huge and personal thank you to all those that have been at the end of the telephone, an email message and loving word to all three of us.

I also know that I am now getting back into the mode of writing that there will be more and more to share with you as the days reaching Christmas draw near.

Love and deepest golden light



Dees Inspirations ©