It's the Full Moon tonight and Christmas Eve tomorrow

It is Christmas eve tomorrow and I am feeling nothing like I want it to be a celebration of any kind.

I have managed to have some time on the pc while my son is out with my grandson. My daughter is sitting on the sofa watching one of her favourite films, A Simple Wish. Its such a joy filled story with lots of magic and such, to give you the warm feeling of how good people can be.

I am happy I have had time with my grandson. He was such a good baby he slept till 4.00am then woke up in such a good mood then fell back to sleep.

Last night's sky was truly clear with wonderfully glittering stars and the moon in all its glory shining over the whole of the isle. I love the full moon, it brings closure to some aspects in our lives but also gives us chance to renew our soul, our journey in what we are doing what we wish to let go of and what we feel we no longer require in our lives.

There has been so many full moons I have released so many bad and non -essential items, issues, memories unwanted that now its time for those small niggly issues to be let go of.

I have been storing up so much in the way of my personal life, I need to release it in order for my soulful well being to become at peace again. The fact that I am writing and have to the knowledge that I am going to be okay and becoming positive all be it a little bit positive I am still going to be OKAY.

So today will be the beginning and the end of my quandry, I will sit and write a huge amount into my journal and then release to the one person I know will give me credence for my feelings, my anger, my broken spirit, and that is myself.

Knowing that some of my anguish has been normal and not to say its felt like a truly alien part of the person I am.

My broken spirit, become so as I allowed another to steal my power and my energy through the words conveyed to me from another, of how this person gave me their hatred and awful words of insecurity.

I took back my power by forbidding those words to be uttered any longer in my personal space, I refused to have any evil or bad words about me conveyed in my company.

In some way this has calmed my upset and yet I am still very low.

I do feel however that I am getting back up I have climbed a few stairs on the ladder to the top of the 'me'.

I have also had a lesson dealt me that we trusting the word of an authoritarian is not always a good thing, as this can be used and quashed. I will respond in the dignity I know as my right to reply. I will not be bullied into taking on someone's elses beliefs of those around them.

I am also very thankful for those I love close to me and those who have been amazingly supportive to me. I am overwhelmed with the love and encouragement from everybody.

So I will wind up this post to say I am okay. I will be okay.

Love and light

Denise

Dees Inspirations (C)

Deepest Feelings....

I have been deliberating on what I need to write down and share with you all about my past few weeks and how I have come to this day.

I have been reading my monthly subscription of psychologies and there in the pages reading was my answer.

So here goes, I am at an age in my life where I could be on my own in my little house, both my children are grown and fully independent financially, and now unfortunately I have my son back at home.

I have a spiritual lesson on this and it has shown me that although last year we were far from being close emotionally the past three weeks has more than made up for those weeks last year we lost as a family.

Even though the situation is far from a good one as to why he is back with me, I just feel I have to turn this heartbreaking situation round to some thing good.
I have to look for the ‘good in the bad’ scenario.

So here is the good in the bad, I have become close with my son again and feel I have regained a respect and admiration for my son, that goes beyond all the hurt and pain experienced last year by all.

I also see how wonderful my two children have become as adults supporting my emotional state when things have been said out of turn, and how they show amazing love for me, which lifts my spirit higher.
It makes me proud to see how the situation of one person in need brings a family to their true colours, and how the fate of one beautiful soul is in the hearts of those who love unconditionally.

I have also come to terms with being at home, of being the person who has realised had a been at work full time committed to a company of office politics and petty one up man ship, I would certainly not be in any fit state to support my family at this time.

After reading one article in my subscription I have to say it spurred me on to write a more humanistic and spiritually aware piece that I know will give me some release.

Doing the right thing by one is not doing the right thing to benefit all, so I am standing by my family and letting those who need to make the decisions for themselves.

I am going to be a guide only offering some knowledge of experience along the way, sometimes angry words which maybe jolt my family into seeing I am no longer going to tolerate situations that do not bring true love and light to my spirit or to my family’s well being for the future.

I know normally my heart is on my sleeve but where this matter has arisen my heart is very guarded and my soul is very raw.

I hope to say a huge and personal thank you to all those that have been at the end of the telephone, an email message and loving word to all three of us.

I also know that I am now getting back into the mode of writing that there will be more and more to share with you as the days reaching Christmas draw near.

Love and deepest golden light



Dees Inspirations ©

Part 3 being awake before the dawn 18th November

I have an affinity with magpies I feel these birds are my personal 'spirit' messengers.

They seem to stick around on my roof, my neighbours rooftop or in front of my house on the neighbours fence but never too far out of sight.

Last year I had some signs from a gigantic seagull!!!

firstly on my daughter's bedroom window. It was quite a funny incident. My daughter called me into her bedroom because the seagull was tapping his or her beak three times on her window pane until she opened the curtain to look!

He or she stared back at her but didn't move, she called me into room when the seagull tapped three times for a second time around.

This continued on for about three months maybe once a week but at different windows, it tapped on my bedroom window it sounded like pebbles being thrown at my glass.

One Saturday morning I could he a 'tick tick tick' noise and decided to investigate I went up my stairs, I have a really long slim window at the top of my stairs,this looks out to the side of my house, it seemed the sunlight was shadowed by something obscurring the full light. I walked slowly up to find a seagull sitting there quite comfortable staring back at me. I wanted to burst out laughing but I gently asked what was his/her message. He /she sat quietly for a moment then tapped three times.!!!

So I decided to leave the seagull sitting there and said out loud thank you for the message, even though I was not sure what this message would be.

It never returned, so the fact that I had thanked the bird for the visit, was symbolic of a message from spirit.

Now I always look for signs from my favourite birds.

Part2 being up before the dawn 18th November

Seeing other signs being extremely tearful the past week has been giving me a pull on my heart, similar to a pulled muscle.This is the only way I can describe it, having this emotion is very draining and so exhausting. Going to bed early and trying to switch off was my solution Friday and Saturday night, with the hope getting a restful sleep.

My dreams were active and once I put them down in my journal I will try to make sense of them.

I have also turned to my angel cards to ask for guidance from m guardian angels and hope for signs, I feel I can 'see' in my life just now. Giving and receiving spiritual message are a true guidance to me, I am blessed to feel the pull towards nature spirits too.

My next spiritual bird contact was a couple of days ago. I went for a short walk, across the road from me in a huge puddle a robin red breast dancing and fluttering in the water, on the kerbside he had an audience of another robin. Two brightly coloured red breasts with the wonderfully camouflage green brown plumage that enhances the breast to such definition.

Since I have lived in this area, I see this tiny bird frequently in the winter months and each time I see it my hearts skips a beat. I always feel it is the start of the colder times, I also know its my dad's spirit showing me this little symbol I love so much.

Dees Inspirations (C)

Being awake at 3.30 am 18th November

Sunday morning I am unable to get back to sleep, I haven't been able to put together a creative piece in over two weeks.

It is me cause for frustration maybe if I just relax and allow my feelings to come through.

I have just read through my 'signposts'book and its so amazing. I love the clear messages it points out to me.

Some of the signs I have seen over the past few months that stick out in my mind.

I went for a walk with my grandson in his pram. I live close to a river and sometimes if I was lucky I would get chance to see some of the wonderful bird life that was attracted to the water.

This particular sunday morning I say a magnificent blue grey heron, the wingspan was breath taking as it swooped down in front of me and landing in a huge evergreen tree in front of me.

I always feel blessed when I encounter a special moment with nature.

My walk had been blessed by one of the island's most favourite birds.

There are not many in the area, so understandably, I felt honoured that this bird would come to bless my day with his presence.

I read in this precious book of mine that herons are a symbol of sacred messenge, if the bird would have been white, this bird I saw was a blue grey with a white breast, this is how close it was to me.

Dees Inspirations (C)

A butterfly experience in July

Yesterday a butterfly experience....

yesterday as I have shared with you was a very nostalgic day for me. I also have something really precious to share with you, on a spiritual level.

I love the film Patch Adams and while I was writing the blog yesterday I watched it and always cry at the part where Corin comes to him as a beautiful butterfly.

I decided to sit out side yesterday and have a little read it was so lovely to just lay and rest taking in the morning sunshine.

I came in about 1 pm and had some lunch, in came a butterfly it landed on my painting I call Dawn's picture and then flew right into the linen cupboard came out of there then went to the window, flew around then visited every room downstairs, but I had to help him/her to find their way out.

About 4pm I came back inside to cool down, again in came a gigantic buttefly a bit bigger than the one previous, it flew and landed here on my pc !! Within seconds it too flew straight into the linen cupboard but I didn't see him/her submerge again. About two minutes later in came another butterfly!

Oh my gosh I was overwhelmed and rang my best friend, we both discussed what messages this was for me, and I know that when things come in threes its very spiritual and a message from those closest.

So remember that if a butterfly comes to you or into your house he or she have been sent as a messenger to bring a smile, bring a sign, a gift of beauty, a gift of love, and to remember that angels are given to us through many small pieces of beauty.

(C) Deesinspirations

the BoX

THE BOX

A young man learns what's most important in life from the guy next
door.

It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls,
career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the
country in pursuit of his dreams.

There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the
past and often no time to spend with those important to him. He was working
on his future, and nothing could stop him.

Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr.. Belser died last night. The
funeral is Wednesday."

Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly
remembering his childhood days.

"Jack, did you hear me?"

"Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him.
I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said.

"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were
doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over "his side of the
fence" as he put it," Mom told him.

"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.
"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr.Belser stepped in to make sure
you had a man's influence in your life," she said.

"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this
business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things
he thought were important...Mom, I'll be there
for the funeral," Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his
hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children
of his own, and most of his relatives had
passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see
the old house next door one more time.

Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing
over into another dimension, a leap through space and time.

The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every
picture, every piece of furniture....Jack stopped suddenly.

"What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.

"The box is gone," he said.

"What box? " Mom asked.

"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must
have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was

"the thing I value most,'" Jack said
It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it,
except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.

"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said. "I better get
some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died. Returning home from work
one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox."Signature required on a
package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the
next three days," the note read.

Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and
looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was
difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention."Mr. Harold
Belser" it read. Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the
package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook
as he read the note inside.

"Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett.
It's the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped to the
letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully
unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch.
Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the
cover. Inside he found these words engraved: "Jack, Thanks for your time!
-Harold Belser."

"The thing he valued most...was...my time."

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared
his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Janet, his assistant asked.
"I need some time to spend with my son," he said. "Oh, by the
way, Janet...thanks for your time!"

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments
that take our breath away."

This letter was sent to me and now I am sharing it with you, if you feel moved enough then send it to all the people you care about, if you do so, you will
certainly brighten someone's day and might change their perspective on life,
for the better.

To everyone I sent this to "Thanks for your time." Time has a way of
getting away from all of us...TAKE THE TIME...NOW..

Love and light always

Please be patient with me.

Hello there and welcome to my new blog pages I will be posting blogs on a regular basis, please bare with me while I get used to writing here.

Love and light

Denise

xxx

my website of spirituality and news

today I have decided to share with you a page from my website Deesinspirations, I hope that you will visit when ever you can.

Deesinspirations news for August.

I will be writing a full blog on Monday.

34 years ago....

Today is a very poignant day

Today is the very day I went on my first date at the sweet age of sixteen, the evening was dull but warm and it had started rainnig, my date called for me at 7.45pm and his dad was waiting in the car.
The night was so lovely, we went to the cinema to watch Bruce Lee and then we walked half the way home, I got to have a wonderful first kiss all be it very briefly from the man I was falling head over heals with.
A year later we were arguing as he had just returned from a trip to sea, he was a sailor. Eventually we got together and I gave birth to my son. who is in the picture above with my dad.
I have found that over the years we fought tooth and nail each time we sat quietly together and shared our dreams it was so loving and sometimes very moving.
So today is 34 years ago when I got my first date with the boy who became the man who was to shape the way I viewed my femininity, my love for this man was so strong, I still love him today each time I look at my son I see him smiling back at me.
I went to church a couple of weeks ago, and a medium came to me and brought me a most heart wrenching message from the other side, letting me know how much I was loved and how he will be waiting for me, his mum came through to say she will be looking after him until its your time ,but I have lots of work to do here first so I need to keep healthy.
I could go into more but this was a very personal message and I did sob uncontrollably, I know that I have guardian angels close to me of all kinds, but those who are my loved ones are very precious to me.
Well its time for me to get motivated the weather is beautiful today so I have made a little plan to get into the garden and read. I have a couple of books to catch up on.
But later on I will toast my wonderful guardian angel Lawrence Michael Homan and let him know he is thought each and every day, love more today than yesterday and even more tomorrow.
my love for him is eternal.
Love to those who know that only Love is Real
Love and light
Dee
P.s. the photograph was taken of my dad and my son on 31st July 1976

music and the memories...

I am listening to a mixture of music I have recorded on my media player here on my pc, I feel like reminiscing and putting some verses together but hey lets talk about music and memories.
So far I have 'been to' the blue ridge mountains while Tim Mcgraw sang eyes of a Woman, have you ever listened to the words?
Well I have to say this is the first time I have actually taken in the words, what a beautiful lyric, with a soulful pain came with the chorus.
what you can find in the eyes of a woman, is a reason to believe
look deep inside the eyes of a woman
see the man you wanna be...
wow this could be true of anybody you have a soul connection with.
Then I felt like I was sitting on my friends porch in a wonderful country side called Independence and the view was so heavenly and truly god's country. Sheer peace.
Then on came Luther Vandross who no matter what he is singing will continue to remind me of New York city and the both times I have visited. A House is not a Home has just begun to play, this song will also bring back the memory of going to see Dionne Warwick nearly two years ago, at the local entertainment complex, my best friend came over from Liverpool.
Her first song was this and oh my gosh how she sang this song and dedicated it to Luther, I cried the whole concert was a most beautiful testament to her and the music both my friend and I had grown up together with.
We cried a lot that night and talked until we fell asleep, but knowing that my pal was going back to Liverpool was heartbreaking enough.
Well his velvet chocolate smooth voice leaves me wanting more as the shuffle moves to another artist.
The will then move my memory to shuffle to the next story,Ray Charles comes on singing You Don't know me and again I am transported back to Liverpool, sitting in my pal's house singing and drinking hot chocolate, and laughing cos I keep hitting all the wrong notes, I sit quiet and let the others sing their heads off. It was so wonderful to watch.
My memories keep me close to those I love and those I miss more than I thought. but sharing is a wonderful thing and music is my lifeline to my soul. Music keeps my heart beating to the drum I love, the drum that beats to my world.
Jaheim has just come on Everywhere I am, its a most beautiful song about his mum and how much he misses her but knows she is there in spirit, but he misses her physically so he sings and dedicates this song to her. It gives him comfort to know that when he goes to church his mums friends tell him they can see her in his face and eyes.
If you ever get chance listen to this man's music the album : Still Ghetto is a most diverse piece of music and lyrics.
Well I think I have gone on long enough, My friends my week started quite melancholy and with a huge task ahead of completing a counselling lesson. I am going to share this with you and see what you believe of yourself.
I have been asked to write this sentence and then give myself some answers :
I need to do what is best for me and my health.
I have been a people pleaser most of my life, and always done for others ignoring my own needs, I have now got time to think of me. OH MY ****** its one of the most difficult tasks to focus on myself for the first time in my life. I am emotional I am tearful, I am fearful, I keep looking to others, and trying to step back into my comfort zone. Yet I know I am growing and stepping out of my comfort zone is the best thing I have ever done in my life.
Try it write that sentence down and try to focus on some thing for your self.
Love and light always
Dee
(C) Dees Inspirations

hello.... my first post here

Hello
I am Dee dee and this is my place, I have lots of places you can visit me at.
I am putting myself out there for people to read my writing and to get to know me and what I am becoming.
My life is taking a turn and I am betweeen the devil and the deep blue sea. Hopefully with the patience I dont have but intend to master I will get where I am wishing and wishing hard to be.
The past four months have been a difficult time for me but this past week has been a catalyst really bringing me to a decision to break free of my chains of self limitation and move in bigger circles of life... at my own pace.
well thats it for now and in the coming days weeks and months I hope to be writing more and sharing with you all my dreams and hopes and wishes come true with you out there.